In French, there is no word for «date» — if you are together, then you are together. Flirting with a Finnish man? Get ready for an awkward silence. In sexually liberated Iceland, any hint of a one-night stand will be dealt with straight away, and perhaps you will become Kviðsystur or Kviðmágar (the name given to two people who have slept with the same person).
Cultural Differences in dating in different parts of Europe became a kind of obsession for blogger Marina Yakovleva, who was born into a Russian-Ukrainian family in Moscow and grew up in Toronto, Canada, from the age of 12.
In 2013, the girl founded Dating Beyond Borders, a YouTube channel with 625,000 subscribers and 190 million views, dedicated to trends in relationships around the world.
«The more experience I got from dating men in different countries , the more I was fascinated by the concept,» says Marina Yakovleva, who was a teacher in Panama when she first had the idea to start asking people around the world about their views on sex, language and love.
» For a while I was treading water with little to no results, but when I quit my job, I devoted all my days to making the channel a reality.»
YouTube is brimming with aesthetically pleasing travel vlogs that feature food, art, luxury penthouses and more, Marina Yakovleva noticed that one element of culture is often missing: dating.
Whether it's a fling or a long-term relationship, bonding with others people is an integral part of the experience of many travelers – and, increasingly, digital nomads – abroad.
«Love is love, but cultural differences can destroy relationships, especially if you don't talk about them,» the blogger believes.
Many of her videos deal with cultural stereotypes played out in sketches—such as You Know You're Dating a French Woman When… («You know you're dating a French woman when…»), but others, such as Single's Guides («Bachelor's Guides») take a more documentary approach, in which locals answer questions about their relationship habits. The most popular video in this series is about Iceland, where, as it turned out, there are many fans of casual sex.
Marina Yakovleva's content is also distributed on other platforms, such as Instagram and TikTok (1.4 million likes), where in the center of the videos is a person who resonated with viewers who want to draw conclusions about their relationship experience.
In the process of creating content, the blogger became somewhat of an expert on dating issues, especially in Europe, and even wrote a book under titled «Sex Before Coffee: A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia».
Here are her tips for avoiding potential cultural conflicts during courtship.
Netherlands
Be direct
«If a Dutchman has his own opinion, he will not beat around the bush — unlike the British, who often need to say ten sentences to get to the point.»
Appreciate sincerity
«The Dutch also believe that one of the most necessary things is to be down to earth, sincere and real.»
France
Voulez-vous un rendez-vous?
«There is no word for 'date' in France! The closest word to it is rendez-vous, which is also used when talking about official and friendly meetings.»
Be at ease
Be at ease
«French people don't usually have standard interview-style dates (dating apps have changed the situation a bit),» says Marina Yakovleva, emphasizing that noisy parties are common, and dates are more casual.
«There are fewer rules and labels here (like we had sex on the third date, we need to talk), more striving to see if you're attracted to each other and just go with the flow.»
But not too casual
«In France, don't dress too casually (this varies by region, of course, as Northern France is more casual), but in general, a sophisticated and elegant appearance is key» .
Great Britain
No humor
«If there's one word to keep in mind when meeting a Brit, it's 'jokes',» notes Marina Yakovleva, «banter is British slang for teasing remarks casually thrown around by friends.
If you are wondering how to talk to a British girl, forget about compliments, use humor. If a British guy makes fun of you, it might be because he likes you. Playfulness, sarcasm and humor are used to build rapport and bond between people.»
Germany
No jokes
«Germans are a pragmatic and practical group of people and prefer to weigh situation, rather than indulge in feelings. They don't beat around the bush, but prefer to be honest and direct in their intentions.»
Respect Boundaries
«Germans prefer to take their time in building relationships, they don't rush things. Keep in mind that Germans value their privacy and personal space very much, so they won't talk about their personal lives and feelings as openly as in other countries.»< /p>Finland
Shy Guys
«If you go on a date with a Finn, get ready for a lot of silence. Silence is uncomfortable only for you, not for Finn, they may well stay in it for a long time,» says Marina Yakovleva.
«Because Finns and Swedes aren't natural conversationalists, you may have to initiate a lot more than you're used to. Either ask questions or talk about yourself and hope your conversation partner opens up.»
Strong girls
«In Finland there is equality, and there are almost no gender roles. It is often women who take the lead — they can write to the guy first, and Finnish men like this assertiveness.»
Portugal
Take your time
«Portugal is now popular as a center for digital nomads, but it's actually still a very traditional country. I lived there for almost two years, and when I first arrived and started asking people about dating, Portuguese men shared that since it's still a conservative place, quite difficult to navigate.
Lisbon, for example, still has a village mentality, people talk and Portuguese women worry about losing face or that their friends will gossip, so make it very hard for the boys to approach them and then make them «dance to their tune».
In general, people take their time and serious relationships may take longer (depending on how big the city or village is, of course).
Spain
More passion!
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«Very sexually liberated Spaniards are not afraid to be laid back and enjoy casual sex. Passion, physical affection, sociability and partying (late!) are an important part of the culture.
Most Spaniards have no problem speaking their minds without much filter, and Spanish women are very independent.»
Scandinavia (Sweden, Norway and Denmark)First sex, then relationshipsView this post on Instagram< pstyle="color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by Dating Beyond Borders (@datingbeyondborders)
«Scandinavians are very liberal about sex. They've been open about it since childhood, they're encouraged to have a healthy sex life, and in all three countries people get to know each other all the time.»
Forget the outdated gender roles
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«If you're used to buying drinks at the bar for women you like, then in Scandinavia this may not be well received. As already mentioned, Scandinavian women do not like to be obliged to something and do not want They won't take a drink if they don't like you and will most likely offer you a drink in return if they like you.
Scandinavian men also find independence and self-sufficiency sexy. want to be your knight in shining armor, they want to be part of the team.»
Don't brag
«Boasting is the big no-no in everyone Scandinavian countries. Be sincere and do not overdo it. Do not overdo it with compliments and gestures, do not make yourself » macho» (this also applies to the Netherlands and Germany)».